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So often we settle for our lot in business and life. We think we only deserve a certain amount of happiness and that can really limit us.
I remember back when I was single after going through my divorce, lots of friends kept telling me I should go out with this person and that person, but I told them that I didn’t want to settle. I wanted to find the right person for me.
I had a comprehensive list of what I wanted in a man. Yes, that might sound a bit excessive, but hey I ended up with my soul mate so you can’t argue with that! I think clarity is so important, in all areas of your life, but especially when running your own business. You need to get really specific about what you want.Back to these friends of mine, they said my list for my ideal man was too limiting and that I should compromise, but I didn’t want to.
They said I’d be missing out on great opportunities, and could be holding out for something that wasn’t right for me. I disagreed.
I knew I’d rather wait for the right person than settle for the wrong person and regret my decision, which wouldn’t be fair on either of us. Trust me, I had to kiss a few frogs along the way! Oh, the stories I could tell about some of those dates – wowzers. The dating world is eye-opening for sure!!!
What’s all this got to do with business? Well, quite a lot actually.
Like my friends telling me who I should go out with, you will get people telling you how to run your business, what clients to work with and what you should be doing/not doing. The thing is, there is no one-size fits all in business. Yes, there are methodologies that are tried and tested, proven to work, so you’d be mad not to incorporate them, but the beauty of running your own business is you get to run it your way.
You need to be clear on what you want for your business
I had a full list of what I did and didn’t want in a man. If you were to apply that to your ideal clients, would you know who you do and don’t want to work with?
You need a vision, a bit like my list. I was able to visualise the kind of relationship I wanted to be in, as I’d written out all of the qualities of the man I wanted and how life would be when I met him. I knew that when I found the right person everything would fall into place like a jigsaw puzzle. The same applies to your ideal clients, when you are really clear on the type of people you want to work with, you’ll find the same thing happens.
You might find yourself wavering when the right people don’t come along (enter the frogs!) but maybe it’s because you’re not being clear enough. Maybe your messages aren’t talking to your ideal clients.
So you may be wondering how we met. We met online, he was working in Iraq doing close protection work when I first started chatting to him. It was back in the day when online dating was more taboo than it is now – it was one of those things you didn’t really share with many people for fear of being judged. I had to pull together an online profile that summed up me and what I was looking for. I was very specific (my list came to my rescue again!) Trust me it seemed a tall order, but specificity works!
Have you ever felt like that in business? When you don’t want to share your business for fear of being judged for saying/doing the wrong thing, being ‘too big for your boots’ and thinking that people will question your reasoning.
I felt like that when sharing the whole online dating thing with people. It all started off as a dare for me (I’m a sucker for a mini dare!) when my friend challenged me to go speed dating. I said it wasn’t for me, and the next best thing was online dating. Nothing like pushing your comfort zones!
So, my ideal husband list was too limiting apparently, I should compromise. No, thank you. Compromise is not in my dictionary, I like clarity, specificity and don’t think you need to settle. You can dream big and make it happen.
We can often get in our own way – we get really clear on who our ideal clients are and then worry that we will limit clients coming our way
A bit like the ‘fear strategy’ my friends were doing with me.
You think when you get clear on who you really want to work with that it’s going to stop you from connecting with the right clients. It’s funny because it actually strengthens your position, you don’t waste time with people that aren’t your ideal clients (timewasters – in my case back then my non-ideal partner). It sets you apart as the one to work with, because you’re so clear, or the one to fall in love with in my case.
If you believe in the Law of Attraction, like I do, then you’ll know that you can make anything happen. When my now hubby and I used to chat over MSN (the Skype of its day) his soldier friends would ask him who I was. His reply was, ‘She’s my future wife, she just doesn’t know it yet’.
When you settle and work with the wrong clients it’s hard work. Working with clients should feel easy and fun, something you love, not something you dread because they aren’t a good fit for you and it’s all super awkward, or you dread working with them. The clearer you are on who your ideal clients are, the easier you will find it to attract them, just like my lovely man.
So if you’re settling I want you to think about what you really do want for your business. Who are your ideal clients? Draw up a list and then speak to them, make all of your messages about them. Okay so you might kiss a few frogs along the way as you figure it all out, but you might also find your prince/princess along the way!