In this episode, I will explore ways to stop seeking validation in your business.


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One of the things I see time and time again in business is the need for us to validate what we’re doing as business owners.

You only need your approval

I work with a business bestie and often we ask each other something, that honestly, we already know the answer to. She was joking about it recently saying that it’s as if we have this 4-minute unspoken rule, where we post the question, want the answer in 4-minutes and if we don’t get it, then we just go ahead with our idea anyway! She was SO right! Why do we do that?! Why do we need to have others validate us somehow? (Rhetorical question – please don’t send me loads about mother and father issues – I get it, I have those too!) It happens in life, but I think when you’re in business it can come up even more often.

If you’re working for a boss, you have someone that can check up on you, keep pointing you in the right direction. When you work for yourself you’re essentially on your own. Okay, you might pay for people to support you, and you might have friends that understand your business almost as well as your own, but ultimately the buck stops with you and let’s be honest, sometimes that can be freakin’ scary!

Stop People Pleasing

We follow other people’s advice about being visible. Let’s say you want to write a blog post, but you hate blogging. If you follow someone that says blogging is the only way to grow your business, guess what you’re going to want to follow that advice.

What if there’s another way?

What if you can do business YOUR way? Don’t like video? Then don’t do it! Seriously. You have permission not to do it. BUT and it is a big but, you need to find other ways to be visible, and where video is a pretty powerful tool, you may have to work harder in other areas of visibility to create the same traction. It’s still possible to be visible without doing video though.

Someone might say you should do something a certain way in your business and you do it but it doesn’t work. It might not, that’s business. It’s all about learning what does and doesn’t work. What works for one business won’t work for another. It’s all one big experiment.

You don’t need other people’s approval though, you just need to find out what works for you.

Live Your Goals, Not Theirs

Test YOUR goals, YOUR theories.

One of the things we do in my Rock Your Visibility programme is work on one area of visibility at a time and we test/measure what works/what doesn’t. That way you only have to test one area of visibility for a month. Still hate it? Don’t do it. Love it but not getting results yet? (results do take time) Keep going, test it over a longer period of time.

Trust Your Intuition

Stuck in a rut? Ask yourself, “What choices do I have here?” and notice what happens as you explore them in turn.

If you tune into your body, you’ll start to notice how it feels. Does it excite you or make you feel all twisty and icky in your tummy?

When you look at the idea on the page in front of you, what’s happening? Has it sent your mojo (motivation) packing or has it set you on fire, biting at the bit to get started?

If the former then it may not be your goal, it just may not what you want for YOUR life.

Now this doesn’t mean though that if it’s scary you don’t do it. Scary is a good thing, it helps you step up and reach new heights in your business. It’s time to stop people pleasing, to work out what goals are yours, what you can adapt and what you need to leave behind.

So remember this:

  • You only need your approval (Get the ideas for sure, but go with what’s right for YOU) Stop people pleasing (It doesn’t serve you as a business owner)
  • Live your goals, your life, not theirs
  • Trust your intuition – instead of “I can’t make this work” – ask “HOW can I make this work?”

If you want to double check everything though, there’s always that coach/mentor/friend who enables you to do that 4-minute unspoken rule! The timer starts now!

Remember to check out my Visibility Quiz to find out whether you’re a Visibility Lady, Countess, Princess or Queen. If you’re a guy then please change the names to Lord, Count, Prince and King) Once you’ve got your score I’d love for you to come on over to my pinned post on my business page and tell me what score you got. There’s a chance to win a little prize each month.

Also, I would love to interview Ladies, Countesses, Princesses & Queens on my podcast show, Rock Your Fabulous Biz. I’ll be asking you all about what you do on visibility right now, what’s working for you, what’s not and where you’d like to be. If you’re interested then apply for your spot here – In order for your application to be considered, you’ll need to have completed the quiz though as I’ll need to know what you’ve scored etc.



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