In this blog post, I’m going to share 3 things you can do to feel more confident.

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Have you ever sat there and thought I know what I want to achieve, but I just don’t know if I can, or how I can?

I was in a group the other day and one of the girls posted a question about which camp you fell into – a) or b), where a) was you weren’t feeling confident in what you’re doing and b) you have rock solid confidence in what you’re doing. (I’m heavily summarizing the A’s and B’s here by the way!)

I said I had rock solid confidence now in what I’m doing, but it hasn’t always been like that. I’m not saying I’m perfect, there are days when I say to myself “Woah, what am I doing setting myself such big goals?” And then I remind myself that if you want to achieve big things, you have to set yourself big dreams and goals. Even if you only get halfway there, you’re better off than if you never set them at all.

When I answered that I was in the B camp (I have a rock solid belief in what I do), she asked me what I’d done to achieve that. I thought about it and realised it’s all down to the work I’ve done on myself over the past 2 years.

It all comes down to mindset.

It got me thinking. What are the things you have to do to feel more confident.

  1. Make a decision to believe you’ve got this

You might wake up in the morning thinking you’re never going to pull this whole thing off. It’s normal to doubt yourself from time to time.

It’s what you do after having that thought that counts. You can choose to go into a big funk, and spend the rest of the day moping around, or you can choose to do something about it, and get yourself into a better place.

Remember, what you’re putting out there will come back to you in one form or another, you know – those bad moods that start rubbing off on everyone else – yeah that!

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  1. Choose the right mindset

Carol Dweck, ‘one of the world’s leading researchers in the fields of personality, social psychology and developmental psychology’, talks about a Fixed Mindset and a Growth Mindset in her book called Mindset. She explains the difference between them like this…

“Believing that your qualities are carved in stone – The fixed mindset creates an urgency to prove yourself over and over. If you only have a certain amount of intelligence, a certain personality, and a certain moral character, well, then you’d better prove that you have a healthy dose of them. It simply wouldn’t do to look or feel deficient in these most basic characteristics.”

Ever felt like that? That you have to do your absolute best or you won’t look good?! It’s one of those things that comes up a lot when it comes to being visible.

In contrast, she says “the growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts. Although people may differ in every which way – in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests or temperaments – everyone can change and grow through application and experience.”

How freaking fabulous is that?!

We get to choose! Fixed or growth. Which one are you choosing right now?

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Carol said that for 20 years her research has shown that “the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. It can determine whether you become the person you want to be and whether you accomplish the things you value.”

So, in a nutshell a fixed mindset will keep you stuck, there is no room for possibility.

A growth mindset will help you to change and grow, the possibilities are endless.

Okay, so there’s a lot of choice stuff going on here, isn’t there? Exactly, YOU get to choose what you want. You can choose to lack confidence, or you can choose to start working on your mindset and believe anything is possible.

  1. Get Yourself Out Of That Funk

You often read all of this stuff about ‘working on your mindset’, but what does it even mean?! Essentially, in my world anyway, it’s about getting your thoughts in the right place, so that instead of coming from a place of negativity you’re coming from a place of empowerment and I’d even go so far as excitement. Who doesn’t want to feel empowered and excited about life?

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But HOW do you get yourself into a better mindset? Here’s a few tried and tested ways that work:

  • Write down all of the things you’re grateful for right now, it’s an instant mood booster.
  • Write down all of your fears and see them for what they are. They are simply thoughts that don’t serve you. Thoughts that hold you back. Thoughts that make you a lesser person than you actually are. You can choose to believe in them, or you can choose to say I might be feeling this way right now, but from now I’m choosing to believe that x, y, z is possible instead.
  • Listen to a positive audio, watch an inspiring YouTube video or read something motivating. My latest thing is afformations, which are similar to affirmations (I didn’t get the name wrong) They originate from Noah St.John and basically are affirmations that are turned into a question, so instead of I am successful in business (which you might find a bit unbelievable if you have evidence to the contrary) you’d change it to ‘Why am I so successful in business?’ It sends your brain on a search for the answer to the question. Powerful stuff.
  • Put on your favourite playlist and let the music lift your spirits
  • Meditate – daily meditation makes SUCH a huge difference to your mindset. Note the word ‘daily’. I laugh as I write this because I set the intention to do meditation every single day last year, and after I set the intention I was the worst I’d ever been at it. It was because I hadn’t really made the decision to do it, but thought I ‘should’ do it. As the year went on it became a daily habit and something I now just wouldn’t want to stop

What works for one doesn’t work for everyone. You’ll have your own ways of boosting your mood so do those things that shake you out of your funk instead. If you find this challenging (I know I used to), write a list of all of the things that help you feel better and then you have your ‘go-to’ for those days when it’s not quite happening.

I love using EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) aka Tapping for this, it’s such a quick way to lift your energy and put you in a different place.

Remember, you don’t always need to know the ‘how’. You just need to know that whatever you want is possible, IF you put your mind to it and take action. You can figure the ‘how’ out along the way. Have a loose plan and then you can tweak and adapt as you go.

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Here’s a quick recap:

  1. Make a decision to believe you’ve got this
  2. Choose the right mindset
  3. Get Yourself Out Of That Funk

Please do work on that mindset! That’s your call to action this week!

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PS. You don’t need to be a Queen on your own. If you want support, check out my Straighten Your Crown Sessions here. More info in the show notes.

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