Nothing Compares To You

‘Nothing Compares To You’ – that famous song by Sinead O’Connor.  Are you singing yet?!!  Nothing does compare to you, you are unique and fabulous.  Don’t try and be someone else, be you!

Why do we spend our lives comparing ourselves to others?  What good does it do us?  Whether it’s comparing yourself to your friends/family members/work colleagues/celebrities/people in the business world doesn’t matter.  Comparison can do us some good if we use it in the right way, but it can also be incredibly destructive.

The problem when we compare is that we judge ourselves against the other person.  Often we’re not even comparing like for like.  It’s this judgement that then can set us off on a path of negative thought patterns which is unhelpful.

Who knows what circumstances that other person has been through to get where they are.   If you look at an athlete you think, ‘Wow, they’re amazing’.   I can’t run like that.  You don’t see all of the hard work, perserverance, tears and  sacrifices they’ve made to pursue their dream.  You don’t see that it’s taken them 10 years of training, day in day out in the pouring rain, heat of summer or dead of night to get to that point, so it’s not even a valid comparison.

I regularly work with people trying to lose weight and one of the things I always say is not to compare your weight loss journey to others, this is your journey.  This applies as much to life as it does to weight loss.  Do it your way and enjoy the journey.

Here’s a 4 step process that is really useful when comparing yourself to others..

1. Stop – ask yourself whether this comparing is helpful and constructive.  It may be that it is useful, it might be a good motivator for you, it’s not always a negative behaviour
2. Remind yourself it’s a snapshot – you are only seeing a snapshot of this other person’s life, it is quite likely they will have their own insecurities too.  Despite what we think nobody is perfect and 9/10 people don’t have the perfect life we perceive them to have
3. Be kind to yourself – everybody is different, comparing is natural.  Don’t use it as yet another tool to berate yourself with.
4. Use it to inspire you into action and make changes – Often when we compare ourselves to someone else it can be a great tool to help us know what it is we desire/strive for.  i.e. it could be that person runs a successful business, it could be they have the husband/wife, the car, the lifestyle, the look.  Use this to recognise what it is you really want in life

Everybody has their own set of strengths, YOU have your own set of strengths.

This week spend some time listing all of the things you have accomplished in your life, perhaps even through difficult circumstances.  Aim for one strength for each year of your life, i.e. you’re 34, list 34 strengths as a minimum.  Keep adding to the list as the weeks go on and use it to remind you how amazing you are.

Remember you don’t need to compare yourself to others, just keep striving to develop and grow.  You may even start to find that others will be aspiring to be more like you!

Liked this article?  Try out this post on Negative Language.  If you like this blog post then please feel free to share using the buttons below.  If you want to improve the way you talk to yourself or work on things that are holding you back and don’t know where to start then get some Coaching with me.

ps – If you haven’t seen my first ‘Be My Guest’ blog post with my lovely Coach, Author & Columnist make sure to check it out for some fun insights.  There’s a giveaway there for you.  There’s also a free funky goal planner available – see my ‘freebies’ page.