We live in a society now where we have to deal with options all of the time. Enter overwhelm!
Think coffee – do you want; A cappuccino? A latte? An Americano? An Espresso? A Flat White? What size? Tall? Grande? Massimo? With or without cream? To drink in or takeaway? Would you like cake with it? The list is endless and that’s only a few coffees! I remember going out with a friend many years ago who said, ‘I just want a plain coffee’. He just got a quizzical look from the barista!
The same can apply with our clients – As coaches we have lots of tools that we can use but we have to be careful not to bombard them with all of them at once! I mean this in the kindest of ways. I know when I started out I was throwing affirmations, quotes, mini homework exercises at them that I thought would help them. They’re all great tools that I still use now but you need to build them up slowly. You don’t want your clients to go away feeling overwhelmed, you want them to get clarity and feel like what they have set as a goal is achievable. Yes we have some great tools but we need to learn how best to share them in a session. All at once is not the best option!
Let’s take the practice of self care for example. If we were putting together a list of things that you might like to do every day for your self care before you start work you may come up with a list like this;
- Taking my dog for a walk
- Mindfulness
- Meditation
- Yoga
- Tai Chi
- Reading
- Doodling
- Gratitude Journal
- Write poetry
- Journalling your thoughts
- Go to the gym
- Drink water
- Quiet 10 minutes before everyone in the house wakes up
So let’s say your client was pulling together a list of new habits they wanted to create to support their self care and came up w
ith a similar list. All of the things on the list are great but if they’re trying to do each of them every single day they become an enormous list of things ‘to do’, instead of being lovely things that support their self care. If your client is going to go into overwhelm just thinking about them it’s not helpful so you need to notice if this is happening. It might be that they say they feel overwhelmed, or it might be they tell you that they haven’t achieved any of it. It’s actually ok for them not to do every single thing on the list. What about this for an idea? Let them have a big list and choose something from it, maybe even choose up to 3 things and swop them around each day? Let me tell you for some clients that’s an incredibly liberating thought! They have so many amazing things they want to do that they send themselves spiralling into overwhelm. Encourage them to check in with how they’re feeling on the day – if getting up early is the right thing for that day then they do it, if it’s doodling then they do that.
Now let’s go back to how you might be creating overwhelm – When you’re about to throw every single coaching tool, question or useful insight at your client ask yourself this – Are you doing it for them or for you? If it’s for you to make you feel that you’re a good coach then you need to stop that right now and work on boosting your confidence around coaching. If it’s for them then remember that coaching transformation doesn’t happen overnight – it’s a process over time. Let them build in some of these things one step at a time.
Where are you creating overwhelm for your clients? What about in your own life? Leave a comment below, I’d love to hear from you.
Ps…I’m running a FREE webinar: Group Coaching: The Secret Tool To Growing Your Fabulous Coaching Biz this Friday, 21 November at 10.00am London GMT. Book your place here. Can’t make the event live? Just pop on over and register. All registered attendees will receive access to the recording for 72 hours after the event.
