3 Tips To Working On Self-Confidence

June 3, 2014 by Leave a Comment

One of the areas I found a bit of a mystery even after completing my coaching training was confidence.  I still wasn’t really sure how to work with someone if they said they felt they had low confidence. I was nervous about stepping into counselling territory and damaging a client for life!  I think it’s safe to say that most clients present with a certain amount of  lack of confidence in one area or another.  Today I’m going to share 3 tips to working on self-confidence with your clients. Self Confidence is so important. It’s the difference between living our dreams or staying hidden in the background.  A big assumption from those that lack confidence is that they see everyone that appears confident is always like that.  Confidence is something that is topped up.  Even the most confident people have self doubt from time to time, it’s how they pull themselves up from it that counts. It can take the simplest of words to crush our spirits, to sow a tiny seed of doubt that can knock us for six. Paul McGee, in his book, ‘Self Confidence’ teaches that we don’t need to work on becoming a super confident person, we just need to focus on boosting our confidence by 10%  It makes such a huge difference. What difference would a 10% boost of confidence make to your clients?  It could be the difference between applying for a job and not.  Often clients will tell you that they don’t want to become arrogant, their perception is that boosting their confidence will lead to them becoming hard versions of their former selves.  By helping them to perceive a 10% change it doesn’t seem such a daunting step. If you imagine a staircase each little knock takes us one step lower, however in the same way each little positive comment/thought can take us up a step.   As with any project you would break it down into small goals and the same can apply to confidence – get them to treat it like a project.  What might be their very first step in moving forward with confidence?  If a job was their goal then the very first step might simply be to buy the local paper or to get a new haircut.  They don’t have to get to the very top immediately, or even at all, they can take one step at a time. Love Yourself First (1) Here are 3 tips to working on self-confidence with a client;

1. Help Them Be Kind To Themselves One of the first places to start with self-confidence is to help your client be kind to themselves. When was the last time they spent time for them? Often clients will say they are being self-ish if they take me-time. It’s not selfish to spend time on yourself, it’s self-care. How can you give to others if you haven’t looked after yourself? Get them to block out some time in their diary for time spent just for them. It could be 10 minutes talking to their best friend or an hour in the bath. It doesn’t matter as long as they carve out some of that time. When I first started working with my Coach she recommended writing a list of 10 things I’d like to do each day for me. Things on my daily list now are; walking my dog, eating a small amount of chocolate (you have to get your priorities right from day one!), reading a book with a cuppa etc. Want to know how well you’re doing on self-care? Try out this quiz.
2. Get Them to Mind Their Language Being kind to yourself is all about your language too. What would they say to a friend that said some of the mean things they say to themselves? Language plays a huge part in how we feel. We don’t realise how much of what we say affects our subconscious. It’s so important to catch our negative self talk and to challenge it. Get them to spend one day focusing on what they say to themselves and catch the ‘should’s’, ‘must’s’, ‘never’s’ and can’t’s. Once they are aware of their negative self talk they can then turn it around.
  • Replace ‘I should’ and ‘I must’ with ‘I could’ or ‘I choose to…’
  • Replace ‘I could never do that’ with ‘I may do that sometime’
  • Replace ‘I can’t’ with ‘How can I ….?’
  • Replace ‘I can try’ with ‘I will’

The key to this is not judging what they say to themselves, that will only make things worse. Get them to notice that they do it and correct themselves without judgement. The more they do this the easier it will become.  You may even find them laughing in their sessions with you as they start to replace the negative words they’ve been using with positive ones. 3. Get Them to Keep A Journal Get them to keep a note of their mini achievements in a journal. A mini achievement could be something as simple as clearing a pile of paperwork or attending an event on their own. As they recognise their achievements it can really help build their confidence and make them realise that actually they’re not that bad! It’s all about momentum too, all of these little building blocks help to boost their self-esteem. If they like girly things get them to buy a really pretty journal that makes them smile when they use it. If not girly, or for guys, what about an online journal or a daily planner? Take them to a place of possibility – imagine what they could achieve if they boosted their confidence by just 10% What could you achieve with a 10% boost?  Leave a comment in the post below, I’d love to know. Want to work on ways to build your coaching confidence, skills and business?  I’m about to launch an online coaching club – to be kept up to date sign up for  my newsletter below and you’ll be one of the first to hear about it. Until Next Time Blog Image No Logo

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Filed Under: Confidence, Mindset, Positive Language, Self Care Tagged With: , , ,

Stressed Out?

August 16, 2013 by Leave a Comment

I write this post as a self-confessed worrier, not as any kind of expert whatsoever.  I say ‘stress’ in the loosest sense… for those days when we say we feel ‘stressed out’, not in a medical/psychological way. I will leave all the ‘technical’ stuff to … well, the experts.  I just want others to learn some of the strategies that I’ve found helpful so far.

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Over on facebook this week I’ve been asking a few questions around ‘stress’, such as;

  • What one thing could you change today to make life a little less stressful?
  • When are you going to let go of your stress?  (add to this, your stressful behaviours, your unhelpful reactions & responses)

Sometimes the answer is really simple; slow down, take some time out for me, listen to others, go to bed earlier

Others it’s more complex; it could be your job or home life or relationship that stresses you out

Changing how you think about whatever that thing is that’s stressing you out can really make a difference.   What if it’s you?  What if your inner voice is driving you crazy, saying you’re not pretty enough, thin enough, good enough, clever enough…? What then?

You can change how you react.  Just keep remembering that.  I know if I have an overwhelming list of things to do and I start telling myself I will never get through the list, then it’s likely that I will never get through the list.  I’m so busy focusing on what I can’t do that I forget what can be achieved if I just put my mind to it.

Some strategies I’ve found helpful in my quest for a peaceful mind;

  1. Write a list - when you have a list you can feel more in control of what needs to be achieved.  Even if it’s enormous it makes it more achievable
  2. Take time to relax - a tough one when you have a busy, creative mind but very important.  What makes your heart sing? Do more of that!  I love to make cards, crochet, be creative.  Get into that ‘where did the time go zone’.
  3. Get organised – They say a tidy house means a tidy mind.  Get rid of all of those annoying little DIY jobs, cluttered cupboards, paperwork piles that drain your energy every time you see them
  4. Calm your mind – Whether that’s reading a book, exercise, doing meditation, going for a walk in nature.  Do whatever it is that makes you feel calm and focused in the present moment.   Not sure what you might like?  Pick one thing and do it, if you don’t like it move onto something else
  5. Change yourself - instead of trying to change the other person, accept them for who they are and see what needs to change within you.   If you find someone really irritates you find a way to notice their good points, rather than trying to pick up on all their bad ones to support your theory
  6. Gratitude - you know I always go on about this, because it truly is so key to a happy and calm life.  Be grateful for what you have, appreciate the small things, they really are so often the big things in life
  7. Listen to music - there’s nothing quite like a good boogie to lift your spirits and make you forget all of your niggling worries
  8. The basics – Eating well, sleeping well, drinking water all help too.  Look after your body
  9. Say no – what/who do you need to say ‘No’, or even ‘Yes’, to?  What difference could that one little word make to your life?

The best strategy so far?

Have fun!!

Filed Under: Health & Wellbeing, Mindset, Self Care, Stress Tagged With: , ,

Confidence

July 13, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Hi, how has your week been?  Have you been enjoying the sunshine?!  It has been beautiful, hasn’t it?

It’s been a really full on week so I haven’t had much time to put virtual pen to paper.

Quote created at behappy.me

Over on my Facebook group page this week and in recent Cappuccino Coaching Sessions we’ve been talking around the subject of confidence and what it means.  It always fascinates me how people view it.  Confidence means so many things to different people.

What is evident though is that people can often show up as being confident, but actually they don’t feel that way underneath and they have to top up their confidence/boost their self-esteem from time to time, or in some cases on a regular basis.  Some people are naturally confident.. Oh to be like that.  For others it really is a case of working on it.  But where do you start?

Build up gradually.  You wouldn’t start a new job and have all of the skills you need if you hadn’t had the training.   The same applies to confidence.  Each day do something that helps you to improve it, whether it’s smiling at someone in the street or starting a conversation with someone you’ve never met before.  The more you gently push yourself outside of your comfort zone the easier it becomes, honestly!

I’ve been putting together a mini freebie eBook giving some top tips for confidence and will share more about that another time, but it’s really all about taking baby steps and before you know it you will be walking tall and feeling fabulous!

Want some more info on different ways to boost your confidence/self-esteem in the meantime?  Check out some of these blog posts…

Making Decisions  – Often when we’re not feeling confident we find decision making difficult.  Use this formula to help you make decisions

People Pleasing -  Ready to stop people pleasing?  Here are some top tips

Networking sends you under the table to hide?   Download my Networking tips

Mind Your Language - how changing your language can improve your confidence

A lot of my work is around helping people improve their confidence in themselves during the coaching journey so don’t ever feel you’re on your own.  Even the most confident people need help from time to time.

I’d love to hear some confidence boosting tips from you.  Why not take some time out for yourself and come along to my next Cappuccino Coaching event, learn something new to help you live your life in colour!

Filed Under: Confidence, Positive Language, Self Care Tagged With: , , ,

Are you a People Pleaser?

July 5, 2013 by 1 Comment

People pleasing is bad for your health.  No, seriously, I mean it.  It makes you anxious, it’s draining and exhausting and you can never win.  

 Not sure if you are a people pleaser?  Answer these questions..

  • Do you often find yourself overcommitted?
  • Do you worry what people might think of you if you say ‘no’?
  • Do you always put others’ needs before your own?
  • Do you keep the peace because it’s easier than saying what you want?
  • Do you keep your opinions to yourself?

If you answered ‘yes’ to the above questions then it could be that you’re a people pleaser.  Warning.. you may not like what I’m about to say… When you people please it’s often due to lack of self-worth.  You put others’ worth ahead of your own because you feel they matter more than you do.  Not great to hear, is it?  We all have different strengths and qualities to bring to the world.  You are just as important as everyone else, you just need to believe that.   

I’m not saying don’t help people.  I am saying help people because you want to, not because you feel you ‘should’ or ‘have to’.  That just undermines your self worth.
  • What or who do you need to say ‘no’ to?    
  • What is the benefit to you of holding onto this ‘you’re more important than I am’ ethos?
  • What needs to happen for you to honour and value yourself?
Ready to stop people pleasing?  Try my top tips
  1. Know that you are fabulous!  Just be you, don’t try and prove yourself to others. Some people will accept you for who you are, others won’t.  Just accept that and life becomes a lot easier
  2. Set boundaries – know what is/isn’t acceptable to you
  3. Make space – If you tend to overcommit make the decision to think before you commit, thank the other person for their invitation and tell them you will get back to them once you’ve had chance to check your diary.  This gives you some space to consider whether it’s what you really want and to build in enough time to fit in all you want to do
  4. Remember you’re not responsible – you are not responsible for others’ happiness, despite how they might make you feel if you don’t do what they want you to do.  You are responsible for your own happiness though so start taking responsibility and you will be happier
  5. Have a conversation – if you feel you’re not being treated the way you want to be then talk about it. Tell the other person how it makes you feel.  They won’t know if you don’t tell them and until you change they won’t
  6. Drop the guilt – See people because you want to, go to things because you want to, do things because you want to.  Don’t feel guilty about saying no.  People will enjoy your company a lot more if you actually want to be there
  7. Stop saying ‘sorry’!  You don’t need to be sorry for honouring yourself.  Don’t apologise, don’t justify, don’t make up excuses for why you don’t want to do something.  If it’s not for you that’s ok.  Just say you won’t be able to make it/do whatever it is that’s being asked of you and move on.
 What’s the worst that could happen if you spoke up for what you want or believe is right? Probably not much and you never know you might actually start pleasing yourself for a change :)  What fun!
 
Missed my Be My Guest post yesterday?  Then you really should check it out.  I had the fabulous Claire Mitchell sharing her business/marketing tips
 
If you want some help with setting boundaries get in touch.
 
Filed Under: People Pleasing, Self Care Tagged With:

Your Best Self

June 28, 2013 by 1 Comment

Your ‘Best Self’ .. What does that mean?

We have days where it’s as though we’ve had a glass of some super-power juice; We’re on fire, in the flow, batting off any negatives that life throws us and seem to be able to juggle twenty things at once while sipping a cappuccino! Then there are those days when even just to raise a smile seems like far too much hard work.

When I’m working on this with my clients I sometimes ask them what’s happening when they are feeling that great, life is  fab and they are in the zone. This is the kind of thing they say..

  • ‘I’m looking after myself’, ‘I’m having some ‘me’ time’
  • ‘Eating healthily, being more active’
  • ‘Feeling more confident’
  • ‘I have self-belief’
  • ‘I’m in a job I love doing’
  • ‘I look in the mirror and like what I see’
  • ‘I am pushing myself to achieve the next great challenge’
  • ‘Im taking responsibility for my own life’
  • ‘Im saying ‘no’ to things I don’t want to do’
  • ‘I’m focusing on my strengths and not my weaknesses’
  • ‘I’m not comparing myself to others’
  • ‘Ive had some sleep’
  • ‘I’m calm, relaxed and feel balanced somehow’
What do you need to do to get you into that place? 
ACTION: Pick one thing that you know makes you feel at your best self and take one action step towards it today.

As I knew I would be writing about this topic today I’ve been questioning myself around it.. What is my ultimate best self? I saw a lady in Marlborough the other day walking up a beautifully quiet hill towards her car that encapsulated it for me.  Over her shoulder she had a loosely woven bag with a stunning floral bouquet in it and in her hand she was clutching what looked like a little gift bag, something she had treated herself to, or perhaps a gift for someone.  In those few moments of seeing her I thought she conjured up the word ‘carefree’ and it struck me that that’s when I’m at my best self; when I feel carefree.

What qualities do you see in others that you would like to see in yourself? 

I LOVE seeing people really clear about what they want to do in life.  That desire to go out there and live life to the full. Being in tune with your passions and values is key.  It’s a great way to help you understand yourself, why you think/behave the way you do, and can act as a really powerful guide. Within an hour you could get some real lightbulb moments and have more direction than you’ve ever had before. Work out yours, it will be SO worth it. Not sure how, get in touch.

One area that stops people from being their best self is that nagging voice that says, ‘You’re not good enough’.  Let me tell you right here, right now, that you absolutely are good enough.

It’s so important to get to know yourself, who you are and all that you stand for.

Be YOU.  You’re perfect as you are. Play to your strengths. Go out there and ‘Rock what ya got’!!!

 

Few extra bits …

If you haven’t signed up to my Cappuccino Coaching Sessions there are just a few spaces left. For more info click here.

Missed the last ‘Be My Guest’ post with Charlotte Hunt? Click here

Have you booked your free Discovery Session with me yet to see how Coaching can help you?


 

 




Filed Under: Best Self, Negative Language, Self Care, Uncategorized, Values Tagged With: , , ,

Work-Life Balance

May 17, 2013 by 1 Comment

How is your work-life balance?  Are you so chilled out you’re horizontal or are you running around like a headless chicken wishing there were more hours in your day?!

Image: Pinterest, Source: Unknown

It is easy to forget how fragile life is and burn ourselves out trying to prove something either to ourselves or to others, so  how do we get off that hamster wheel?  Firstly it’s about being aware that it’s happening in the first place.

You may know that I am happily married with a teenage daughter.  My husband and daughter are incredibly supportive of me and I absolutely enjoy spending every moment with them, but when I’m in work mode they have no chance of accessing me.  Physically I might be in the room with them but mentally I am working out solutions in my business or the next project.  I am a Coach, I know the importance of creating balance, yet I frequently find it impossible to switch off.  This image really got me thinking. I know I’m a workaholic, are you?

I’d like to ask you the following questions, dig deep to find the answers..

  1. What are you doing in your life that you really don’t enjoy?
  2. What 5 small things could you bring into your life each day, just for you?
  3. What impact is overworking having on other aspects of your life?
  4. What needs to happen for you to look after yourself?
  5. Do you actually want to achieve a better balance or are you happy with things as they are?
  6. What boundaries do you need to set yourself so that your work and life doesn’t blur into one?
  7. How could you manage your time more effectively?
  8. What does it take for you to switch off, I mean really switch off?
  9. What activity do you lose yourself in, where the time seems to fly by?
  10. What would be the worst that would happen if you delegated and not try to be all things to all people?
This area for me is a work in progress.  I have to be aware that I am not switching out of work mode and consciously decide to do so.  I LOVE what I do so find it hard to switch out of Coaching or learning mode.  I want to learn more and more about how to help people and while that’s great it also means I can become quite boring and burnt out!!  I recently decided I would start to read some other books aside from personal development and found myself in a bookshop with my husband having a conversation with the bookseller about what I could read instead of self-help books! Can it really get to that point?  Yes, in my case!  What has worked for me so far is the following;
 

  • Setting a specific time that I switch off all technology (I still fall back into iPaddict mode but I am getting a little better)
  • Choosing to focus on the moment, reminding myself that work can most often wait.  Family and friends are important and to be cherished
  • Setting time each day to focus on myself (want to check out your self care levels? Pop on over here to complete a self-care quiz)
  • I try not to take on other people’s problems.  I’m a fixer so can feel responsible for helping people too much.  By doing Coaching I now realise that actually I’m not helping them with this approach at all.  It’s so much more empowering to help people find their own answers to their problems

So f you don’t have the right work-life balance choose to work to live, not live to work.  I would absolutely love to hear any of your work-life balance strategies.  It’s an area I’m always looking to improve.

If you missed last week’s post it was all about facing your fears, find out more here.

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Filed Under: Self Care, Simplicity, Uncategorized, Work-Life Balance, Work/Life Balance Tagged With: , ,

Nothing Compares To You

March 29, 2013 by Leave a Comment

‘Nothing Compares To You’ – that famous song by Sinead O’Connor.  Are you singing yet?!!  Nothing does compare to you, you are unique and fabulous.  Don’t try and be someone else, be you!

Why do we spend our lives comparing ourselves to others?  What good does it do us?  Whether it’s comparing yourself to your friends/family members/work colleagues/celebrities/people in the business world doesn’t matter.  Comparison can do us some good if we use it in the right way, but it can also be incredibly destructive.

The problem when we compare is that we judge ourselves against the other person.  Often we’re not even comparing like for like.  It’s this judgement that then can set us off on a path of negative thought patterns which is unhelpful.

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Who knows what circumstances that other person has been through to get where they are.   If you look at an athlete you think, ‘Wow, they’re amazing’.   I can’t run like that.  You don’t see all of the hard work, perserverance, tears and  sacrifices they’ve made to pursue their dream.  You don’t see that it’s taken them 10 years of training, day in day out in the pouring rain, heat of summer or dead of night to get to that point, so it’s not even a valid comparison.

I regularly work with people trying to lose weight and one of the things I always say is not to compare your weight loss journey to others, this is your journey.  This applies as much to life as it does to weight loss.  Do it your way and enjoy the journey.

Here’s a 4 step process that is really useful when comparing yourself to others..

  1. Stop – ask yourself whether this comparing is helpful and constructive.  It may be that it is useful, it might be a good motivator for you, it’s not always a negative behaviour
  2. Remind yourself it’s a snapshot – you are only seeing a snapshot of this other person’s life, it is quite likely they will have their own insecurities too.  Despite what we think nobody is perfect and 9/10 people don’t have the perfect life we perceive them to have
  3. Be kind to yourself – everybody is different, comparing is natural.  Don’t use it as yet another tool to berate yourself with.
  4. Use it to inspire you into action and make changes – Often when we compare ourselves to someone else it can be a great tool to help us know what it is we desire/strive for.  i.e. it could be that person runs a successful business, it could be they have the husband/wife, the car, the lifestyle, the look.  Use this to recognise what it is you really want in life

cindyEverybody has their own set of strengths, YOU have your own set of strengths.

This week spend some time listing all of the things you have accomplished in your life, perhaps even through difficult circumstances.  Aim for one strength for each year of your life, i.e. you’re 34, list 34 strengths as a minimum.  Keep adding to the list as the weeks go on and use it to remind you how amazing you are.

Remember you don’t need to compare yourself to others, just keep striving to develop and grow.  You may even start to find that others will be aspiring to be more like you!

Liked this article?  Try out this post on Negative Language.  If you like this blog post then please feel free to share using the buttons below.  If you want to improve the way you talk to yourself or work on things that are holding you back and don’t know where to start then get some Coaching with me.

ps – If you haven’t seen my first ‘Be My Guest’ blog post with my lovely Coach, Author & Columnist make sure to check it out for some fun insights.  There’s a giveaway there for you.  There’s also a free funky goal planner available – see my ‘freebies’ page.

 

Filed Under: Coaching, Health & Wellbeing, Negative Language, Self Care Tagged With: , ,

Health & Wellbeing

March 22, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Health & Wellbeing – What does that mean to you?  It can mean so many things to so many people.  Last night I was shutting down my computer and I realised I hadn’t done my blog post.  My normal thing to do would be to fire it up again and get on with the job before I go to bed.  This time though I stopped for a moment and asked myself how this is helping me in terms of health and wellbeing.  Rest and relaxation is vital for our health.  I guess if I hadn’t been writing this topic I wouldn’t have given it a second thought and I’d have been up until 2am writing this out, but I made the decision to go to bed and said to myself it can wait until the morning.  Nothing bad will happen if I don’t write out my blog post!

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Physical, Mental & Emotional well being... It’s all important.  Well-Being – we all want to be ‘Well Beings’, don’t we?  So why do we put off looking after ourselves?  I guess it depends on the priority we place on it.   When we’re younger we never think health will be an issue.  As we get older we start to consider our bodies more and make better choices.  It’s not just about physical health though, being well can help us to manage stress and the pressures of daily life.  We’re nicer people to be around if we’ve learnt to manage our emotions.

If you signed up to my newsletter you would have received a copy of my ‘Wheel of Life’ last month.  It’s a tool coaches use where you group your life into various categories (generally 8) and then rate them from 0-10 according to how happy you are.  You can then identify an area to work on in your life.  If we were using it for this topic there are so many areas we could pick;

Sleep, Nutrition, Exercise, Rest & Relaxation, Worry & Anxiety, Emotions; anger, sadness.  That’s just the start of it.

What’s incredible is once you start to look after your health and wellbeing you start to realise how many other areas of your life it impacts.  Feeling tired impacts your emotions which can then impact your relationships.  Eating unhealthily can make you unwell creating worry and anxiety.  By making some simple changes you can start to feel more energised and ready to take on life and all it has to offer.

The first step to making change in this area is to identify how you take your body for granted.  Are you a sleep deprived caffeine junkie?  Do you shout at everyone that dares to cut you up on the road?  What do these things tell you about your health?

What needs to happen for you to put your health and wellbeing first?  We often put it at the bottom of the list, but actually it needs to be at the top.

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Your homework for this week is to have a really good belly laugh, whether it’s watching a movie that always sets you off, a quick video on YouTube or going to see a comedy.  Do one thing this week that really makes you laugh and then start to take yourself more seriously when it comes to looking after your health and wellbeing.

Liked this article?  Try out my Self-Care Quiz.  If you like this blog post then please feel free to share using the buttons below.  If you want to improve your health and wellbeing and don’t know where to start then get some Coaching with me.

ps – If you haven’t seen my first ‘Be My Guest’blog post with my lovely Social Media expert guest, Rebekah Harriman make sure to check it out for some fun social media tips.  There’s a giveaway there for you.  There’s also a free funky goal planner on my ‘freebies’page.  Next week we have another great guest interview, watch this space!

Filed Under: Coaching, Health & Wellbeing, Life Coaching, Self Care Tagged With: , , , ,

Living In The Moment

March 15, 2013 by 1 Comment

Living in the moment is a real challenge for me, is it for you too?  I’m future focused so I’m constantly thinking about the next goal I want to achieve, or the next thing I need to get done.  I have to really remind myself to stop for a moment and enjoy life for what it is.  We’ve all read/heard the benefits of doing this and how it can make us feel but life so often gets in the way.  Why do we find it so difficult to enjoy what’s happening right now?

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We just need to notice it.

 

I think a key word for living in the moment is ‘noticing’.  Start noticing what’s happening around you.  What sounds, smells, tastes and sensations are there in that moment.  What are you feeling?  The more you notice what’s happening the more life is breathtakingly beautiful.

Take time to stop and smell the flowers, notice the beauty around you.  It’s amazing what you see/hear/feel when you start to notice.  Have you ever looked at the underside of a mushroom cap?  It’s absolutely fabulous, so intricate in design!  What are you like when you’re eating, do you taste the food or are you in too much of a rush to get out of the door/do the next thing?  What happens when you listen to someone, I mean really listen?  You will find you learn a lot more about that person and also more about you too.  One thing I love to do to bring me into the moment is play with my little dog, Lulu.  I snuggle into her and feel her warm coat against my cheek, listen to her ‘talk’ to me (yes, she talks!  I’ve clicker trained her to do lots of different tricks!) and look into her big brown malteser eyes!  (notice the link to chocolate there – told you I was a chocolate addict!)

What are your distractions?  How do they take you away from the present moment?  On my facebook page this week I’ve been posing questions around this week’s topic.  I asked what people are easily distracted by.  We had some great (and very diverse!) answers such as ‘facebook’ & ‘people’ to ‘chickens’ & ‘glitter tape’!   It’s so easy to get distracted in this modern world, it’s taking the time to notice when we are distracted and bringing ourselves back into the moment.

Where do you spend most of your time/thoughts?  In the past, the present or the future?

A scientific research project called ‘Track Your Happiness’ found  that people spend nearly half of their time (46.7%) thinking about something other than what they are actually doing’ (Source: The Guardian).   You can read more about the Track Your Happiness project here.  I think I might take part!

It’s the simple things…

What makes life worth living for you?  We often forget about the small pleasures in life…. a smile or compliment from another person, the taste and smell of freshly ground coffee, the gorgeous colours surrounding us.

What will you notice today just by spending one minute focusing on the now?

Want to work with me to help you enjoy life more?  Take advantage of your free 20 minute Discovery Session or connect with me here.

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ps – If you haven’t seen my first ‘Be My Guest’ blog post with my lovely Social Media expert guest, Rebekah Harriman make sure to check it out for some fun social media tips.  There’s a giveaway there for you.  There’s also a free funky goal planner on my ‘freebies’ page.

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Filed Under: Life Coaching, Mindfulness, Mindset, Self Care Tagged With: , , , ,

Looking After You

March 1, 2013 by 9 Comments

Hi there.  This past week I’ve been posting little questions on facebook about looking after yourself, such as how much sleep do you need to be at your best, what do you do/buy to treat yourself etc.  If you haven’t joined in on the conversation pop on over there, everyone has their own unique perspective.

It’s easy these days to forget ourselves.  We get so caught up in work, family, life commitments that we put ourselves last.  With all of the wonders of technology you’d think we’d have more time, not less.

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How good are you at taking care of yourself?   Try out this little quiz to find out..

Score 0 for Never, 1 for Sometimes, 2 for Often, 3 for Always 

  1. I look after my health, ensuring I eat healthily every day, exercise regularly
  2. I bring relaxation into my routine each day
  3. I limit my alcohol intake (if you limit your alcohol but you’re a smoker then score 0)
  4. I get sufficient sleep every single night and listen to what my body needs
  5. I’m comfortable setting boundaries and saying no to things that aren’t right for me
  6. I allow myself time out from work/family commitments to do something nice
  7. I have a list of things to do/places to go that lift my spirits and help me feel replenished
  8. I have a fabulous circle of family/friends that support me when I need it
  9. I take time to go offline – switching off all technology for a set period of time
  10. I always feel calm and ready for whatever I face in the day ahead
  11. I have some really good daily routines
  12. I take short regular breaks throughout the day to recharge myself

How did you do?  What did you learn about yourself?  Did some of them make you smile because you recognised areas for improvement?!

0-15 What needs to change?  Choose one specific area that you can improve that will have the quickest impact

16-21 – You’re doing well, but there’s room for improvement.  Think about which one of these you need the most, work on that one first and then move on to the next

22-29 – You understand how valuable self care is and already reap the benefits of its rewards, but you can still raise those numbers if you put some work in.  Keep reminding yourself why this is important

30-36 – Wow, you’re amazing!  You have this self care thing all figured out.  Keep it up now

Just a bit of fun, but in all seriousness what do you need to change?  We know we need to look after ourselves, we hear enough about it in the media/books etc, but it’s not always that easy.  Sometimes you can push yourself so hard that it’s difficult to get out of that cycle.  Time constraints are often a main factor too when it comes to taking this time for ourselves, so thinking about your day identify where you’re wasting time.  It doesn’t mean life has to go on hold while you sit cross legged in your living room saying ‘ohm’ for a few hours (although I’m told that has fabulous health benefits too!) Start with a few minutes of ‘ME’ time and build it up as you can, it’s about quality time not quantity.  Use it wisely.

Looking after yourself is non-negotiable.  How can you be of any use to others when you’re burnt out, frazzled and ready to snap at a moment’s notice?

Go and grab yourself a glass/cup of something, run yourself a luxurious bath with bubbles and chill with a good book.  You’ll then be ready to take on the world!

I’d love to hear how you take care of you.  Leave a comment below telling me what you do on a regular basis.

If you liked this post please share it with others and don’t forget to sign up to my newsletter.  It’s coming out any day now with a special discounted offer for my subscribers.

Filed Under: Coaching, Self Care Tagged With: , ,
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