I’m Fabulous Thank You!

Fabulous!When I worked for Weight Watchers I was asked to compile and deliver a presentation on one of the company values, ‘Positive Energy’. As part of the training I got them to play a game around how to improve the energy of the group sessions we ran, they basically just had to ask each other how they were and each reply with, “I’m fabulous, thank you”!

Now this all started when I had been running a meeting and my helpers had not had a great week.  They were a bit disgruntled so I said, ‘Right, let everything out that’s bothering you for the next minute. After that I’m going to ask you how you are and you’re going to say, “I’m fabulous, thank you”. The vibe in the room was electric, the energy lifted and you could literally feel people’s moods changing. From that moment on every time someone asked how they were they replied, “I’m fabulous, thank you” and we all had great fun with it! It became such a thing that even now I get pictures of cards sent to me with the word ‘fabulous’ on them, photos of biscuit packets with the word ‘fabulous’ on and they even started using #fabulous over on Twitter!!  It’s well.. fabulous!!  I love the buzz!

Why am I telling you this? For two reasons;

1. As a Coach it can be hard to be upbeat if something has happened to you just before a session or if life is throwing you a curve ball, but you have to hold that space for your client. Their session is about them, not you, so you have to do what you can to feel fabulous before your session starts.

You’ll be working with your clients to make sure they get a good balance in their lives and you need to do the same.  You can’t serve others if you’re not in a great place yourself.  So whether it’s a 5 minute meditation, a walk with the dog, a scream from the top of the stairs.. it doesn’t matter. Do whatever it takes to be ready to coach your client in the best way that you can. Saying, “I’m fabulous” can also work if you’re having a bit of a confidence crisis!  What do you do to get yourself in the zone for clients?

2. If you’re working with clients who are being quite negative help them to reframe how they see things. I’m not suggesting being all Pollyanna about it, but sometimes it just takes a small tweak in perspective for us to feel better. Remember “It’s not the events of our lives that shape us but the meaning we attach to those events” – Tony Robbins.   Help your client to change their perspective and if it involves something fun they are more likely to feel more positive much quicker.

So now when someone says to you, “How are you?”  I want you to reply …. “I’m fabulous thank you”.  I dare you to try it.  It will surprise you and others how it can make you feel!

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Speaking of fabulous.. Do you want to spend some time with other fabulous Coaches and learn how to build your business through group coaching at the same time?  Join my Cappuccino Coaching Club.  Already some of the Coaches have started sourcing venues, booking in dates and started taking action on bringing in an additional iCCS Badge FINAL Leannencome stream to their coaching businesses.

Here’s what Corinne Wilhelm, of Byte Sized English, has to say about it … “You know that “Ooh, I could make that work!” moment? There are lots of those in Ruby’s Cappuccino Coaching Club!”

ps - if you haven’t signed up to my newsletter yet then you can do so below.  Each week I share bitesize coaching hints and tips for boosting your coaching confidence, skills and business. Know other Coaches?  Send them my way :)

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The Truth About Coaching Questions

For those of you that read my post last Friday you will now know that I am working with Coaches as my niche so my blog posts will be related to Coaching going forwards.

If you are new to my blog, welcome! It’s great to have you here.

I thought I’d start out with one of the key themes of Coaching – Questioning.  When working with new Coaches I often get asked about what questions to ask.

When I first started out as a Coach I was on a questions quest. I LOVE questions. When I was dating my now husband I would constantly ask questions to learn more about him, the poor guy didn’t know what hit him! So when I became a Coach I was going to be the Queen of Questions!  I wanted to know all of the great questions so that I could be the best Coach I could be and would spend a lot of time seeking out the latest laser question I could ask that would get my Client to have an a-ha moment.  We all want that safety blanket so that we have every base covered when we coach someone.  I had scraps of paper all over the place with fantastic questions on, little books filled with questions, electronic notes; the whole shebang. What happened though as I was on a call with a Client was I started searching for the right question on my little scraps of paper and it just ended up with me sitting there thinking, ‘Well that one doesn’t fit, neither does that one and that one definitely doesn’t help’.  That then sent me into a silent meltdown where I hoped my client wouldn’t notice I didn’t have the right questions!

As time went on I realised that while questions are a huge part of Coaching (and it is important to ask some good ones) what’s more important is being in the moment with the Client.  If you are too busy thinking up the next question as your Client is talking then you are not listening to what they say and you might miss a really important point.   

My Coach sent me over a list of 100 questions to help me when I first started out because I really was stressing about it.  She asked me the other day if it helped and we laughed when I said, ‘No, actually it didn’t’!! Sometimes the most simplistic questions or even words are the best ones because they are what unblocks that client at that moment.

One question I often ask is, ‘So what’s happening here/there?’  This might seem a simple question but it gets the client really thinking about why they are stuck and can uncover so much.

A word that is really powerful is the word, ‘and’.  For example a client might say they are feeling frustrated at work. By asking ‘And?’ in a questioning tone they then open up a bit more to reveal different things that might be happening.  Ask it again (yes it feels annoying to you but it works) and they then start to share how it’s affecting them or what they want instead.  You will be surprised at what they share just by using a three letter word!

So what I’m telling you is that it’s not all about knowing the most amazing questions (please trust me on this) but more about listening to your client and getting to know them, reading between the lines and helping them to uncover what’s really going on.  So put together an amazing list of questions if you think it will help you and then leave it behind in your Coaching session and go with the flow.  You will find you get much better results and your Client will really feel you are listening to them intently.

Ps I am still the collector of great questions, but now I tend to try one out and see if it works for me. That’s the beauty of Coaching, you’re always honing your skills. I’d love to hear what great questions have worked for you, leave a comment in the notes below.

 

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