The Truth About Coaching Questions

February 14, 2014 by Leave a Comment

For those of you that read my post last Friday you will now know that I am working with Coaches as my niche so my blog posts will be related to Coaching going forwards.

If you are new to my blog, welcome! It’s great to have you here.

I thought I’d start out with one of the key themes of Coaching – Questioning.  When working with new Coaches I often get asked about what questions to ask.

When I first started out as a Coach I was on a questions quest. I LOVE questions. When I was dating my now husband I would constantly ask questions to learn more about him, the poor guy didn’t know what hit him! So when I became a Coach I was going to be the Queen of Questions!  I wanted to know all of the great questions so that I could be the best Coach I could be and would spend a lot of time seeking out the latest laser question I could ask that would get my Client to have an a-ha moment.  We all want that safety blanket so that we have every base covered when we coach someone.  I had scraps of paper all over the place with fantastic questions on, little books filled with questions, electronic notes; the whole shebang. What happened though as I was on a call with a Client was I started searching for the right question on my little scraps of paper and it just ended up with me sitting there thinking, ‘Well that one doesn’t fit, neither does that one and that one definitely doesn’t help’.  That then sent me into a silent meltdown where I hoped my client wouldn’t notice I didn’t have the right questions!

As time went on I realised that while questions are a huge part of Coaching (and it is important to ask some good ones) what’s more important is being in the moment with the Client.  If you are too busy thinking up the next question as your Client is talking then you are not listening to what they say and you might miss a really important point.   

My Coach sent me over a list of 100 questions to help me when I first started out because I really was stressing about it.  She asked me the other day if it helped and we laughed when I said, ‘No, actually it didn’t'!! Sometimes the most simplistic questions or even words are the best ones because they are what unblocks that client at that moment.

One question I often ask is, ‘So what’s happening here/there?’  This might seem a simple question but it gets the client really thinking about why they are stuck and can uncover so much.

A word that is really powerful is the word, ‘and’.  For example a client might say they are feeling frustrated at work. By asking ‘And?’ in a questioning tone they then open up a bit more to reveal different things that might be happening.  Ask it again (yes it feels annoying to you but it works) and they then start to share how it’s affecting them or what they want instead.  You will be surprised at what they share just by using a three letter word!

So what I’m telling you is that it’s not all about knowing the most amazing questions (please trust me on this) but more about listening to your client and getting to know them, reading between the lines and helping them to uncover what’s really going on.  So put together an amazing list of questions if you think it will help you and then leave it behind in your Coaching session and go with the flow.  You will find you get much better results and your Client will really feel you are listening to them intently.

Ps I am still the collector of great questions, but now I tend to try one out and see if it works for me. That’s the beauty of Coaching, you’re always honing your skills. I’d love to hear what great questions have worked for you, leave a comment in the notes below.

 

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Filed Under: Questioning Techniques, Questions Tagged With: ,

Be My Guest … Ros Kitson (Interview Series)

February 11, 2014 by Leave a Comment

Today’s Be My Guest interview is with a lovely lady called Ros Kitson who is a Kinesiologist.  Knowing nothing whatsoever about Kinesiology I had a treatment with Ros a while back to find out what it was all about and it was absolutely fascinating what she was able to tell me about myself.  I felt so much better after working with her.

Ros is passionate about personal development. After suffering from depression in the late nineties, she discovered various holistic therapies and found that she could get better without taking medication. She has continued to get better ever since and now is living a happy and healthy life, helping others do the same.

She discovered kinesiology during her recovery and immediately knew it was the one for her. Having received kinesiology treatments for many years, and now has been offering them for many years, she is still in awe of how insightful and effective it is.

Ros has been qualified since 2006 and works from the Wellbeing Centre in Newbury, Berkshire and Herongate Leisure in Hungerford, Berkshire.

1. Describe yourself in 3 short, fab and fun sentences

I’m passionate about wellbeing and personal development. Having greatly improved my own life over the years, I’m now committed to helping other people transform theirs. I’m a light hearted and fun person who can often be seen treading the amateur boards or local shows.

2. What motivated you to become an entrepreneur?

A desire to be my own boss; to be able to choose exactly how I live my life each day. Also, I wanted to do this job and it’s very difficult to be a holistic therapist any other way. I’ve loved it, but it has definitely been challenging. There have been times when I’ve wished someone else made some of the decisions, but those times haven’t lasted long.

3. Who has been your biggest inspiration in business?

I’m inspired by people who are running a successful business while being 100% in their truth. You can tell instinctly from someone’s energy if they are doing this. I’m never been someone who could compromise my values for the sake of making money so it’s always brilliant to see that others can make authenticity work in self-employment.

4. What’s the best business advice you’ve ever been given?

To be completely authentic. If people are going to buy from me, then they need to trust me. If I’m not being completely authentic in myself, then people will pick up on that and something won’t feel right to them. I would definitely pass this advice on, particularly to anyone following a life-purpose career.

5. What three tips would you give when trying to manage emotional issues?

Wow! Just three? I have a whole blog on this subject.

Firstly, be honest with yourself that you’re not managing as well as you’d like. If we try to pretend we’re OK when we’re not, then we’re heading for trouble.

Secondly, identify what you need, both practically and emotionally, and take steps to get these things. It might be you need some time out before you tackle the practical details. You might need a friend to turn to when you’re feeling low. It might be that you need professional help to sort out the problem. It might be that you need to make some changes in your life to be free of things that no longer serve you.

And thirdly, be gentle with yourself. Sometimes, we just don’t manage. We’re all on a journey; maybe you needed to learn something from the experience. Maybe that opportunity wasn’t right for you at that time.

6. What are the three biggest mistakes that people make when they’re stressed?

The first one is reaching for chemical “crutches”. Things like cigarettes, coffee or chocolate. Or even alcohol or processed food. All these unhealthy substances put more stress on our bodies. The reason we like using them is that they distract us from the problems we’re facing. However the problems will still be there afterwards and we’ll be in a worse place from which to deal with them.

Secondly, projecting our stress on to others. What I mean when I say this is that sometimes we see a situation as being someone else’s fault rather than owning our own feelings. If we own that we feel angry, jealous or out of control, then we are in a place to make a change. We can look at changes we can make in order to feel happier and calmer. If we focus on someone else being at fault, we are powerless as we can’t change another person.

And finally, constantly moaning about our situation. Please don’t confuse this with sharing how you feel with a friend. It is important to be able to be open. What I’m referring to, is those people who constantly have an air of negativity about them; those who never seem to have anything happy to say. What you put out, you attract, so these people will generally attract more negativity and things will spiral downwards. It is always possible to break out of the cycle, but it starts with you.

7. What is your favourite strategy for feeling happy and healthy?

Only put good things in and get rid of everything that doesn’t serve us.

This includes the food we put in our bodies; the more natural and organic, the better and also our environments, which can be full of toxins. Think about the ingredients in your skin care products, chemicals in cleaning products and air pollutants.

However this doesn’t stop there. Our physical clutter affects us. Are you hoarding negative or sad memories from your past? Who are the people you interact with? Do they make you feel good about yourself or do they drag you down? Think about the activities we spend our time on and whether they are things we look forward to or things we dread.

This covers a huge topic, but if you make just one change in one area, you will start to see improvements in your life.

8. There are so many different therapies, how do I know which one to choose?

We are all different and as such, we like to work differently on our health. Some people like to work emotionally, some prefer physical therapies. And there will always be therapists we connect with and those who we don’t, even if we can’t really put a finger on why.

The Wellbeing Centre, where I work has a large selection of therapists and has a growing website and blog with useful information on how to choose. Our receptionists are available to talk things over with you as well.

If you are still confused, I suggest you follow your instincts. If we put out to the universe that we want someone to help us with a particular problem, we usually find someone appropriate to our needs appears.

9. Is there anything else you’d like to share?

I used to be one of those people who walked around under a personal rain cloud. If I can transform my life into the joyous and fulfilled experience it is today, then anyone can. I’m not different from anyone else in this, but I am able to help and support people who wish to make changes and absolutely love doing so.

10. If I wanted to connect and/or work with you where would I find you?

I work at The Wellbeing Centre in Pound Street, Newbury and at Herongate Leisure in Charnham Park, Hungerford. I can be contacted on 01635 581682 or [email protected]. I write a blog on emotional health at www.roskitson.co.uk.

Ros has kindly shared a fab eBook called ‘A Guide To Our Emotions’, it makes fascinating reading.  To grab your copy just pop on over to the Freebies page where you will also find other freebies to download.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this interview.  Thanks Ros for spending some time with us and for sharing some insights.

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Filed Under: Be My Guest, Interview Series, Ros Kitson Tagged With: , ,

What To Do When You Get It Wrong

February 7, 2014 by Leave a Comment

I got it wrong!  For those of you that have known me for a while you will know that I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out my niche.   Now I really am passionate about Coaching which is a good thing seeing as I’ve chosen it as my profession!  If you’ve been coached then you will know that Coaching is all about finding your own answers and making decisions based on those answers.. and yet I fell into that age old trap of listening to what others think I should do (in my business). It’s great to get lots of input around what you could do but ultimately it is your life, it has to resonate with you and light you up.  Any time I listened to others it just wasn’t quite right somehow.  It wasn’t that they weren’t all great ideas, they were, they just weren’t great ideas for me.  I needed to spend time figuring it all out and ended up going down the wrong path for a while.

My initial niche was always going to be about working with Coaches; training, mentoring and coaching Coaches.  I love seeing people grow and know how scary and overwhelming it all is when you first start out as a Coach.  I also know that burning desire of wanting to know everything about Coaching and how to help your client.  I’m now back where I started in the first place, I’m coaching Coaches and that’s ok.  It’s completely ok.  Yes it took me a long time to get here but I got here in the end and now I know it’s the right time to set my niche.  You may well have heard me talking about the Pure Coaching Academy that I’m part of, an exciting new way to learn how to be a Life Coach, so it’s all coming together to one place; working with Coaches.

One thing that was really nagging away at me though (and making my decision harder) was that I also really enjoy just general Coaching; helping people to create the life/business they want. I love running my group Cappuccino Coaching Sessions so I’m still going to do that and I’m finalising my online Life Coaching programme which will launch soon, as well as working with a handful of clients.  People told me I can’t do both so I was stressing out about setting my niche and then not being able to do that, so what to do? I am choosing to let go, to honour that small aspect of what I really enjoy, despite it not being the perfect fit, and keeping it as part of my business, albeit just a small aspect.   

So what will change? My blog posts will now be related to Coaching; hints/tips/interviews/questions etc. for Coaches.  If you’re not interested in those then you can access my life coaching posts that I have written over the past year.  I still have a couple of future Be My guest interviews that won’t fit my Coaching niche but they are great interviews so I will still share, it would be a shame not to.

So back to my blog title… ‘What To Do When You Get It Wrong’? Put your hands up, tell whoever you need to tell and move on.  

Thank you to you all for being part of my first year in business. I would love you to stay with me but understand if I’m no longer the right fit for you.  I wish you the very best in your future if you do decide not to hang around and encourage you to be you, not someone else’s version of you! 

With love, Ruby x

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Filed Under: Business, Letting Go, Life Coaching, Uncategorized Tagged With: , ,

Fill Your Bucket – How to Make Life More Positive

January 24, 2014 by Leave a Comment

Hi there, how’s your week been?  Now think carefully before you answer that question because you might be emptying my bucket!  What on earth am I on about?

Well I had this book recommended to me recently called ‘How Full Is Your Bucket‘ by Tom Rath & Donald Clifton.  It’s all about positive strategies for life and work.  The theory is basically this;

“Everyone has an invisible bucket.  We are at our best when our buckets are overflowing – and at our worst when they are empty.

Everyone also has an invisible dipper.  In each interaction we can use our dipper either to fill or dip from others’ buckets.

Whenever we choose to fill others’ buckets we in turn fill our own”

So when you are interacting with someone in a positive way you are filling their bucket, when you’re being negative you’re draining it.  The fab thing is that when we fill up others’ buckets ours gets fuller too as a knock on effect.  I know which one I’m choosing!  

You all will probably have noticed by now that positivity is high on my list of priorities, in fact it’s my 4th top core value so of course I had to read the book.  It’s a lovely little book with lots of hints and tops and research to back it all up too – So in summary go and read it and then come back here and tell me how you fill people’s buckets.  Want to read more about it?  You can find out more at www.bucketbook.com.  You can even take the Postive Impact Test to get your bucket filling score! So the next time you have an interaction with someone ask yourself are you filling their bucket or dipping into it?

What else is news?

I have been working frantically in the background on a 3 month Group Coaching Programme called Live Your Life In Colour.  More to come on that next week.  

I set myself a challenge of reading 40 books this year as I have a bad habit of buying lots of books and reading them all at once because I can’t help myself.  I currently have about 10 on the go, eek!  This is my first completed one, I’m slowly working through my list, it’s kinda cheating though as it’s only short!  How many books will you read this year and what’s on your reading list?

So whose bucket will you fill this coming week? Feel free to fill mine by leaving me a wonderful comment below or by sharing this post!!

Don’t forget to join in Make It Happen Monday!  Have a great weekend.

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Filed Under: Book Review, Positive Language, Positive Thinking Tagged With: , ,

Check in Fridays

January 17, 2014 by Leave a Comment

Hi there, today’s post will be a short one and then it will be back to normal from next week.  It’s time for Check in Friday.

 

You may have seen my post Make It Happen Mondays where you set a goal for the week on Facebook.  Today is Check in Friday where you get to let everyone know how you got on.  You can find my Facebook page here.  The image above is what you will see and all you need to do is post your comment under the image each week when you see the badge.    So far we’ve had all sorts of goals such as activity, work, pushing outside comfort zones.  Come and join in the fun over there, it really does help you get things finished.  I’d love you to spread the word too.

I have a few things coming up that I’m working on in the background, one is a 3 month online coaching programme, more to be shared as the programme unfolds.  I’m also working with Pure Coaching Academy, a fresh approach to training people to be coaches.  If it’s something you’re interested in you can find out more by clicking the link above.

One thing before I go, I’m looking for some people to be guests for my Be My Guest Interview Series.  So far I’ve featured people in life coaching, graphic design, social media, hypnotherapy, mumpreneurs, cleaning company etc.  A whole array of different businesses all with some useful information to share.  All that’s involved is you answering some questions, sending over some info and you can be a featured guest.  You can even be a guest without leaving the house or applying a single dot of foundation!  If you’d like to be considered and this is something of interest to you please get in touch by dropping me an email at [email protected].  If you’re the right fit for my readership then it would be fab for us to connect.

That’s all from me this week, next week back to business as usual.  Have a great weekend!  Remember to check in on Monday to set a goal for the week!

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Filed Under: Accountability, Check In Fridays, Procrastination Tagged With: , ,

Make It Happen Mondays

January 6, 2014 by 2 Comments

Happy New Year!

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and New Year and feel refreshed and ready to take action!

I wanted to start the new year off being accountable, no more procrastination and uncompleted goals!  Yes, I said uncompleted goals, I’m human too :)  I LOVE goals and my failing is I set far too many so I’m going back to my KISS – Keep It Simple Sweetie theory and opting for one big goal I want to achieve for the week.  I’ve got lots more than that but this will keep me focused on the big stuff!  I thought it would be great to work with others that want to be accountable too so I’m setting it up as a little challenge (of sorts) each Monday.  

How it will work: I will post the badge each Monday with my goal for the week.  As the badge says if you want to take part all you have to do is choose one big goal to work on (or an action step towards that big goal) and then report back on Friday to let everyone know how you got on.  

Never underestimate the power of accountability – it can make a huge difference
 

Up for it?  Then pop on by my facebook page and get cracking!  Let’s do this!

Have a fab week!! 

 

Filed Under: Accountability, Goal Setting, Make It Happen Mondays Tagged With: , ,

Simply The Best

December 20, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Simply the best…

This week I thought it would be fun to review the year by the best things that have happened and I’d love for you to tell me all about yours. This post is all about celebrating some of the best things that have happened to you this year..

  • What’s the best thing someone said to you?
  • What’s the best event you went to?
  • What’s the best place you visited?
  • What’s the best book you read?
  • What’s the best movie you saw?
  • What’s the best thing that happened at work or in your business?
  • What’s the best thing you learned?
  • What’s the best food you ate?
  • What was the best song of the year for you?
  • What’s the best thing that happened to you this year?

I’m sure the list could go on and on, but that’s enough to get us all thinking. I’m going to go away and think up my answers now!  By the way, sorry if the blog title got you singing!

Each year I set a word for the following year; for what I would like it to be. In the past I’ve had ‘happy’, ‘create’, ‘fun’. More recently it’s been ‘fabulous’. It’s just such a wonderful word, it’s how I want to feel. I have been trying to come up with one for next year but I keep coming back to ‘fabulous’. It sums it all up for me. Maybe this coming year it can be fabulous with sparkle! 

What will your word be for 2014?

So I wish you fabulousness for the rest of this year. 

I am taking a break until January to spend some time with family and friends so will see you again in 2014.  I’ll be back on 6th Jan for my Cappuccino Coaching Sessions. If you haven’t booked yet now’s the time as the spaces are starting to fill up.

 

 

 

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Be My Guest .. Aloted Omoba

December 17, 2013 by Leave a Comment

 Today is the last Be My Guest (Interview Series) of the year.  

 

I’d like to introduce you to one of the ladies from a business networking group I’m part of, Aloted Omoba. Running a business with a family can sometimes feel like a pull in all directions where you want your business to be a success but also want to spend time with your family and it’s often a juggling act.  Aloted works with working mums and has some hints and tips to share with you for how she makes it work for her. 

Describe yourself in 3 short, fab and fun sentences

I am married with two children a 4 year old daughter and a 5 month old son. I am jovial, a doer and always willing to help others around me. I am passionate about the empowerment of women especially mothers.

What motivated you to set up in business to help working Mums?

I was motivated to start Super Working Mum because I am passionate about mums and I noticed that a lot of working mums are overwhelmed with so much to do at home and at work.

I wanted to share my knowledge, journey and practical tips, which I have found useful to help working mums, particularly Christian mums, all over the world achieve balance and fulfillment in their lives.

Who has been your biggest inspiration?

First of all, my Mother. She was a working mum (she is retired now) and was able to raise 4 children with the help of my Dad of course and was still able to work. It still amazes me till today that she bagged her master’s degree with three toddlers under 5 with not much help. How she did it, only God knows.

Mothers out there who are still fulfilling their dreams whilst managing a family also inspire me. Yes motherhood is a great calling but we are still individuals before we are mothers.

What’s the best business advice you’ve ever been given?

The best business advice I have been given is that I am a scientist so I cannot fail. Scientists experiment till they get it right. Every seemingly failure is just a closer step to finding out what works.

In business I have to keep experimenting, tweaking and trying out different ways of doing things till it works. There is no room for giving up. If I am persistent and hardworking I will succeed by God’s grace.

What three tips would you give to people when trying to juggling work and family life?
  1. Take care of you first – your spiritual, physical and mental health. If you do not take care of you, you won’t have the ability and energy to juggle family and work properly. If you keep running on low one day you will crash.
  2. When you are at work focus on work, when it is family time focus on that. Try not to mix them up. Set clear demarcation. This will help you stayed focus and be the best in both worlds.
  3. Get support, you cannot do it alone. Build relationships with other working mums, join a support or mastermind group and share your victories and trials together. No (wo)man knows it all. The Faith Family and Financial Inner Circle that I run for working mums provides this kind of support for the working mum who needs spiritual, physical, mental and financial development.
What are your top three tips for creating calm for a working mum?
  1. Sometimes things will happen and not go according to your plan for the day. Stay flexible; adjust your expectations accordingly so you don’t get worked up.
  2. Learn to laugh- things are not always as bad as they look. Having a good sense of humour does wonders for keeping calm
  3. From the start of your day, choose how you will respond to every challenge that comes your way. Affirm to yourself that you will be calm no matter what. You may not always get it right but the key thing is you are now aware that you can choose how to respond to circumstances on a daily basis.  I have to add one more tip please :) ..
  4. Learn how to say no. You don’t have to say yes to every request thrown at you. You are not doing yourself any good by taking more than you can actually do. Also learn how to delegate. You will feel less overwhelmed and be calmer when you do.
Confidence levels can change for Mums returning to work. What strategies do you know help when it comes to feeling confident?

This happened to me when I went back to work after my daughter was born. I lost my confidence. One main strategy I will say that works is to write out the different things you have accomplished over the years before you had a baby. Write out your strengths. That person is still there somewhere inside you and just needs to be brought out. Surround yourself with positive people and take each day as it comes.

I share a whole lot more tips in my ebook – Boosting Your Confidence, 15 steps to success in the workplace. You can get a copy here.

You run a series where you feature Super Working Mums, what would I need to do to be considered?

The main thing to do to be considered as a featured Super Working Mum is be a member of the Super Working Mum group on facebook and be interactive on the group. That simple! :)

Is there anything else you’d like to share?

I would love to share with your readers a free webinar I did for working mums called 7 Secrets to Faith, Family and Work Balance when they sign up to my special updates newsletter. I share some secrets on how to achieve balance in life as a working mum. Some of the secrets I share are based on biblical principles but any working mum from any background or faith can apply the practical secrets I share.

For those who prefer reading instead they can also download the report instead. Get access to the free webinar and/or report here.

If I wanted to connect and/or work with you where would I find you?

Sure, I love connecting with other working mums

I can be found on:
facebook, twitter or my website or via email [email protected]

Aloted has kindly shared a great freebie for us today, Boosting Energy At Work.  You can download your copy here. Thanks Aloted for sharing with us today.

Need a last minute gift? Want something a bit different?

I have set up two Cappuccino Coaching Sessions for the New Year. These would make a great Christmas pressie for someone, or a fab treat for you to get a great kick start to 2014. To find out more and book your place click here.  Gift vouchers are available.

 

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Filed Under: Aloted Omoba, Be My Guest, Uncategorized, Work-Life Balance Tagged With: , ,

Dying of Embarrassment?

December 13, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Dying of Embarrassment – ever been there?  Not really a blog post this week, more of a confessional to make me feel a bit better. 

If you think you make mistakes check out mine…  This week I made a terrible faux-pas, all of my own doing.  I have nobody to blame, except my friend, hubby and daughter who thought the idea was a good one, ‘ a bit different and quirky’ and they encouraged me, grrr.

My faux pas was that everyone at a Christmas Do was going in fancy dress; specifically as Mr & Mrs Santa, reindeers and elves.  I hadn’t seen the note until the day before and had absolutely no time to do/get anything so I got creative.  I went as a Christmas Cat, well what a disaster.  I know, I know, you’re cringing for me.  Rightly so. Anyway it’s done now.

I honestly could have cried when I got there and the big reveal was on because I knew how wrong I’d got it and obviously so did everyone else and I truly wanted the ground to swallow me up.  I could have gone back to my hotel room and not bothered but I decided to face my fear of embarrassment and see it through to the, let’s be honest, bitter end!!  I’m sure it wasn’t the case but it felt like people were completely avoiding me as they didn’t know what to say!!

So why am I humiliating myself even further by telling you?  Well because in everything there is a lesson.  

Did I get it completely wrong?  Yes, oh so unbelievably yes.  

Was my intention right?  Yes I didn’t want to let the others down and wanted to show I was participating.  

Did I die of embarrassment?  Yes.  Well actually no.  I didn’t die at all, well maybe a little inside but that’s another story.  

This week on facebook I said one of my fave questions is ‘What is the worst that could happen?’  Well it was bad but it could have been worse, people weren’t laughing directly in my face!!  So what’s the lesson here then?  It’s about fear.  Sometimes we build things up to be huge monsters in our minds.  Even though you are terrified about things and imagine the worst they don’t always happen and if they do you have to accept there just ain’t nothing you can do about it and move on.  Will I EVER be a Christmas Cat again, no bloomin’ way, but it is actually quite a funny story to share now that it’s all over.  I might have hit someone if they had said that to me at the time though!

So go out there and face your fear and know that you probably won’t ever be as embarrassed as this Christmas Cat was!

EXCITING NEWS…

I have some exciting news to share with you..  I have been working with my own coach, Carole Ann Rice, who is a very successful Life Coach and Mary Keeley, another very successful Coach.  I am proud to share that I have been working with them on an 8 week intensive Coaching course due to go live in the early part of next year.  You can find out more here ..  Pure Coaching Academy.  If you want to learn more about these two amazing ladies you can check out their Be My Guest posts by clicking on their names above.

I’m also already thinking about New Year goals and have set up two Cappuccino Coaching Sessions for the New Year.  These would make a great Christmas pressie for someone, or a fab treat for you to get a great kick start to 2014.  To find out more and book your place click here.  Not long to 2014 now.  What would you like to achieve next year?

I will be sending out a little gift with my end of year newsletter, something to get you thinking.  If you haven’t signed up already you can do so here and pick up your free eBook, ‘Pricing with Confidence’, ready to set those new prices for 2014.

 

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Filed Under: Embarrassment, Fear, Feelings, Uncategorized Tagged With: , ,

3 Top Tips For Staying Strong

December 6, 2013 by Leave a Comment

I think.. A lot. When my mind is in busy thinking mode I dream. A lot. Often my dreams can be just one word that is repeated over and over again.  Earlier this week my word was ‘Resilience’. The online Oxford Dictionary defines resilience as:

  • ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity
  • the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness

Now you all know I’m a glass half full, or actually nearly to the top, kinda girl but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had my fair share of adversity. Trust me when I tell you I’ve probably had more than my fair share, some stories I share, some are other people’s stories to tell. One of the things that I’ve learnt is that whatever is happening you have a choice of how to react. You can choose to curl up in a small ball and hide away or you can choose to rise up from the ashes like the phoenix and live again.  It’s not always an easy option, it’s a conscious decision but it’s so worth it.

Here are my 3 top tips for staying strong;

1. Be grateful

There are times in life when finding anything to be grateful for seems almost laughable but you can if you look hard enough. Be grateful for the fresh water you have, the bed to rest your head on at night, your family/friends, the birds that sing each morning, the sun, the flowers/trees, even down to toothpaste to make your mouth feel fresh.

2. Talk to someone

I’m quite a private person so I only share with a selected few, but as the years have gone on I’ve been happier to share more as it brings me a connection with others that I wouldn’t have had. Find someone you can share how you’re feeling with. Ultimately you have all of the answers within you but talking things through can get you through the toughest of times and you will be blown away by some of the stories others tell you around things they have faced and overcome.

3. Be positive

When you dwell on your problem for too long it can be all consuming. Find a way to be positive and optimistic. There are often lessons to be learned in adversity. I am so happy I’ve been through all I have because it’s shaped me into who I am and now I can help others because I ‘get it’ having had those experiences.  It’s not hiding the problem but remaining optimistic and believing things can get better.

When we go through adversity we are so entwined in the situation that we can think only of that problem. Often when we look back at that difficult time we recognise that we have learnt a lot from it, or are now able to help and support others as a result of going through it ourselves. At the time it can be almost impossible to find a lesson but it can really help to think it through.
If you’re going through a tough time right now you will get through this.  Go out there, take time to look after yourself, be strong and choose how you react. Have a great day!
Filed Under: Mindset, Positive Thinking, Resilience, Strength Tagged With: , , ,
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