Welcome to day 4 of my 30 day Blogging Challenge. If you missed Day One’s post you can read it here and then follow the series from there. I’m going to be writing about confidence and each day sharing some tips for building your confidence slowly. The tools and hints/tips I’m sharing can be used for you or your coaching clients but for now I want you to focus on you. Building your confidence can have a great impact on your business and life. You will be amazed at what you can do when you feel more confident.
Over the weekend I set you with the task of getting a journal and to start writing a list of your strengths and compliments. I want you to keep adding to your journal as and when something new comes up for you. If you’re finding it a challenge ask others to tell you 3 things they love about you, or get them to share with you things you’re really good at that they can’t do, or wish they could do.
Today we’re killing the confidence myth!!
The truth is not everyone is confident all of the time, not even those that seem to be.
Confidence takes practice. We see these confident people and think they have it all together. We hear amazing stories about them and it makes us feel inadequate, we put them on a pedestal – the pedestal of illusion. As a Coach I know that a big part of what stops my clients is often the lack of confidence or self-belief. All of the clients I work with come across as very self-assured but there are those little doubts that creep in – the ‘Am I really good enough?’, ‘Little ole me – Why would someone want to hear what I’ve got to say?’ What if I’m found out to be a fraud?’ Can you identify with any of those? I know I can and I’m pretty confident, but some days not so much (often directly linked to weight sadly).
Don’t get me wrong I’m not talking about low self-esteem but that self belief that they can achieve all they set out to achieve. Part of the role of a coach is to be your clients’ cheerleader willing them on. Just knowing that someone believes in them more than they do can help them reach heights they would never achieve on their own. But they already have it within them, so do you.
Confidence is something that needs topping up. Everybody, has their not so confident days (yes, even the super confident). The difference between the two is the confident people work on topping their confidence back up using various strategies that work for them; whether it’s giving themselves a pep talk, reading an inspirational chapter of a book, a quote or calling a friend – They’ve found a way to bounce back quickly and you can too by taking baby steps.
The problem is people are often worried that aiming to be more confident will make them become arrogant because often people equate super confidence with arrogance. It’s very unlikely you will do that because confidence takes time to build (there is no overnight fix) and the fact you’re worrying about being arrogant at all would suggest it will never be the person you will become!
In one of my favourite books, ‘Self Confidence‘, Paul McGee, shares an example of how an increase of 10% confidence can make a huge difference to your life. He uses a jokey example of Tom Cruise who with a boost of height of 10% would move him from 5’7″ to 6’1″. Obviously you can’t change your height but the point is a 10% increase can make a significant difference to how your life is. He also likens confidence to the yeast in a loaf of bread, without it the bread is a little flat. Great analogy.
So using his 10% idea I want you to think what difference an increase of 10% confidence would make to you?
Here’s a few examples;
- Let’s say you were thinking of applying for a job – the 10% might be to actually apply for it or to start writing your CV
- Another might be you say ‘yes’ to everything – this week you just say ‘no’ to one thing
- Another might be to sign up to a ‘crazy’ 30 day blogging challenge!
NB: Edited post to add in additional info – See ** to **
**A 10% increase may be an intangible thing to measure so it’s just a guide. It’s about stepping up a little, so being a little bit braver with something, so let’s say you want to start blogging daily, the first step up might be to blog once! It’s finding something that you can start or take the first step on, then you move the next step and so on and before you know it you will be surprised by how far you’ve come. **
You’ll often hear me talking about choice. I really believe the majority of us are very lucky as we have lots of choice. I ask you today to choose confidence. See your personal setbacks as just that – set backs – things that have set you back, but they don’t need to debilitate you. Choose to view them as feedback, not failure. Choose to find the blessings or lessons.
So today’s task is to;
Choose one area of your life where you could do something to boost your confidence by 10%.
Where could you be a teeny tiny bit braver right now? Share what your 10% is in the comments below. Mine was definitely sharing more personal stuff for this challenge – I’m wondering if that might be nearer 80% than 10% though!
Want some added fun and support? Pop your info in the form below and you’ll get free access to my private Facebook group – Confidence Rocks for the duration of the challenge. Ps – when you sign up you’ll get sent a link to the group page – you’ll need to request to join.
Great post – as a firewalk facilitator people think nothing must flumox me, but we all get days where our confidence is flagging.
Thanks Lottie. The firewalk isn’t something I’ve done but I’ve known a few that have
Amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it!
Great post, as a business mentor I also have to help my clients increase their confidence in specific areas of their business. Coming across as confident is often easier than really being confident. I love your idea of just 10% better. I’ll give it a try and let you know how it goes. .
Good luck with the blog challenge
Thanks Rebecca. The idea is from the book by Paul McGee, 10% just seems so much more achievable to clients. Definitely let me know how it goes
Good one! I like the idea of an extra 10% top-up!
Thanks for sharing a little more of you…
Thanks Shan, it’s seems so much more achievable. I love the Paul McGee stuff
Great post. Well done for a great start to the challenge. As a graduate I can highly recommend it. I consider myself to be very confident and others see me as being confident. I’m an EFT Practitioner and often tap on confidence for myself which amazes people. I think most people when faced with new experiences/challenges feel a little lack of confidence and need a little boost.
Thanks Wendy, I’m really enjoying it! I use EFT for confidence from time to time too, it’s a great tool
I’m yet to train as a practitioner though… it’s on my list 
Great tip. 10% doesn’t make it seem like a massive and therefore overwhelming effort . Your blog is already having an effect one me; today instead of moping around because I am feeling less than I chose to do something about it..I chose to be confident and moving ahead in spite of whatever is happening around me, that alone made a world of difference. Thank You <3
Ah it’s so good to hear that it’s making a difference to you Antonina, thanks for sharing
Ok, so I have been struggling with this one – both in theory and putting it into practice. Today I am going to set my New Years Resolutions with a view to making changes that matter and not putting things off for ages. Also written a blog post on it as need to get back on with my blogging now Christmas is over! So they will be my 10% more effort.
Hi Jenny, it’s a difficult one because it’s intangible. It’s really just about taking one small brave step and then another