Today I’m really pleased to introduce you to my guest for the Be My Guest series – Jo Cooke, where she speaks about decluttering. Jo is a professional Organiser and Declutterer and runs her own business Tapioca Tidy.
I’ll let her tell you all about who she is and what she does. Over to you Jo…
My name is Jo Cooke and I live in Thatcham. Both of my children are studying in London, one at Uni and the other at Drama school. When growing up I lived in many parts of the world, constantly on the move from one house/country to the next while attending several different schools.
My work experience has included charitable organisations, human resources, project management, book-keeping and civil service, amongst others. I took voluntary redundancy from the Education Funding Agency in 2013.
The idea for becoming a professional Organiser and Declutterer occurred purely by accident as a result of my enthusiasm for helping friends and work colleagues sort out whatever they were becoming overwhelmed with. However the big wake-up call, to consider putting my natural talent to good use professionally, occurred about ten years ago when supporting my friend, Emily, with her family’s relocation from London to the west coast of the United States. More recently I decluttered and sold the family home which my father had lived in for over thirty years, and managed to liaise without any falling out with my 4 other siblings on possessions and probate. What I did not realise is that there is actually an association for professional Declutterers and Organisers – APDO, of which I am a member.
After taking redundancy in March 2013 I set up Tapioca Tidy – a de-cluttering and organisational services supporting clutter bugs, not hoarders. (There is a massive difference). People quite often asked me in the beginning whether or not I worked with hoarders, of which I replied that I did not, and would not, unless there was a mental health practitioner support working alongside me. Through networking during the summer of 2013 I met Amanda Peet, and we instantly recognised that we could work together to support hoarders and then blend in coaching organisation skills and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). We were approved in December 2013 as a community interest company.
My experiences have taught me a lot, and I would like to think that I have an abundance of common sense, sensitivity, patience, empathy, discretion and pragmatism. I am not judgemental and never assume anything!
Describe yourself in 3 short, fab and fun sentences
I am the mum of two grown up children who are my proudest achievement, and my cat has suffered from depression since my youngest left home this month. Every day I come home thinking how much I love my job, the skip and the clients I work with – it satisfies my nosey and curious nature
What made you decide to become an entrepreneur?
When I realised life was too short and precious, and although I never knew as a little girl that I wanted to be a professional Declutterer/Organiser, it suits me down to the ground.
Who has been your biggest inspiration in business?
No-one specifically – I am inspired by everyone I come into contact and motivated by people’s personal stories, challenges and defeats.
Why is it important to reduce clutter?
Clutter and too much stuff around us can leave us feeling stagnant, stifled and overwhelmed. Clutter saps you of energy. Clutter and disorganisation go hand in hand and when you are feeling disorganised this can leave you feeling stressed and frustrated. Clutter costs you money. I am working with a client and we gathered up together 8 pairs of secateurs. When she couldn’t find a pair, she would go and buy a replacement. We now have a home for the secateurs, on a hook in the shed with a bright coloured ribbon to help her find them quickly! Lost passports and keys too – it is important to identify and establish a place for those all important documents and be disciplined and returning these items to their rightful homes. As my father said, “a place for everything and everything in its place”.
The less you own, the less that owns you – less stress, less mess and a sense of calm and control. Clutter also causes health issues – respiratory being the most common with the additional dust that clutter attracts. Less clutter makes us more sociable – we are not embarrassed about our cluttered homes. There is the expression in the decluttering world – CHAOS – which stands for Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome.
Clutter is essentially delayed decision making and anything that doesn’t make you feel good.. As a professional organiser/declutterer is to facilitate decision making. The most common feedback I receive is just how liberating and energising a decluttering session can make you feel. Clutter is not just physical, it is mental and emotional too.
Which rooms tend to be the worst when it comes to hanging onto old junk?
Whichever room or space is the emptiest tends to be the room/area that attracts clutter. An empty cupboard, wardrobe, spare room, attic, garage or shed is just an invitation to store clutter. The biggest clutter magnets are garages, spare rooms and thirdly under the stairs cupboards.
We tend to hang onto junk for a few reasons – guilt because it cost so much to start with (e.g smoothie maker), good intentions (exercise bikes), just in case (another jam jar), and also hatred of “land fill” (videos).
Which room would you start with for a big clear up? And which job first?
Decluttering is tiring as it is constant decision making so I would start in a corner of any of the rooms that you are the most frustrated by, fed up with and depressed about. Start with a small area like a drawer and be methodical. It is so tempting to flit from one room or area to another and then wonder why there is no real visible impact. You will feel the benefits of being systematic. Stick with the one drawer and build up to a cupboard and work your way round the room. It is important that you feel confident about your decisions as to what stays, what is disposed of and what might be sold, free cycled or sent to charity. If you are still feeling nervous – perhaps start with the bathroom as a warm up. Decluttering is best done step by step, bit by bit and little by little. Use a timer to help with decluttering sessions.
Is there a specific order which you’d work around the house in? And why?
When I’m working with clients we tend to work on less intimate areas of their homes and start with decluttering areas for visible impact – i.e. hallways full of junk post, stray gloves, broken brollies and muddy wellies. Kitchens are next and I have decluttered many a larder – the decision making is easier with out of date foods and unwanted cookbooks, fish steamers and random unidentifiable kitchen utensils, as there is little emotional attachment with these items. I do encounter clients that aspire to being domestic goddesses, Jamie Oliver’s and Mary Berry’s as perhaps that’s what their mothers were but the reality of their situations is basic uncomplicated meals. Sometimes life’s too short to stuff vol-au-vents.
What are your rules for getting rid of items? How do you decide what to give away/bin/keep?
One saying I keep in mind is, “if in doubt, throw it out”. Another reminder that comes to mind is the late William Morris quote, “Have nothing in your home that you do not believe to be either beautiful and or useful.” Have nothing mediocre in your life.
Other useful tips are to ask the questions of yourself:-
- Does this enhance my life in anyway?
- When did I last use it?
- Would I miss it?
- Would I replace it?
- Will I really repair it? If not let it go
- Will I really return it? If not take a decision about whether it stays
Create a present drawer and as you declutter bear in mind anyone that might benefit and remember that you are “repurposing” your items and giving them a new lease of life.
What types of storage would you recommend?
Vacuum bags are brilliant for storing away seasonal clothes. Clear plastic containers are good too. I am not a believer of storage units unless it is to store your belongings whilst a move is occurring. Storage units for storing excess possessions is expensive and you might want to question why you are storing these items and not using them or enjoying them. Inherited items that you feel guilty about letting go of is another issue and can be dealt with by using a storage facility in the short term.
How do you deal with paperwork? How much should we keep?
Paperwork is the biggest source of clutter ever and statistics reveal that 80% of what we file is never looked at again.
- Converting to on line billing and bank statement arrangements has dramatically reduced the amount of paper that enters our homes
- Check with your accountant/bank but financial/tax and legal documentation that is more than 7 years old does not need to be retained and can be securely disposed of
- Try to set up a system for junk mail to make its way out of your home as quickly as it enters
- Review your magazine subscriptions. I had one client that subscribed to a cookery magazine and had 3 years’ worth of magazines clogging the shelves of her kitchen and bathroom floor. She subscribed to this magazine in the hope that she would convert into a sophisticated cook but in reality the magazines made her feel bad
- Memory boxes are a brilliant way of editing our lives. Do we really need to keep every Xmas card, birthday card and painting our children ever brought home from school? Keep the best and recycle the rest
- Warranties and instruction manuals could be reviewed annually.
- Learn what your organising/tidiness style is and introduce systems for filing and retrieving documentation that suit you. Keep it simple.
What about if you are clearing someone else’s house? (elderly or passed away parent for example). How do you decide what to keep for practical/sentimental reasons, and how do you stay focused and not get overwhelmed?
It is important that you ask for help for help when sorting out the affairs of a loved one that has passed away at this very sensitive time. Think of a friend you know that you can rely on to not only help you practically but who can remain impartial, or you could always enlist the help of a Declutterer/Organiser.
I quite often find that people feel they ought to keep items that have belonged in the family. I am sure that the person who has died would not want you to feel weighed down with anything more. There are various charities that come and collect furniture, knick-knacks and clothes. The approach to this exercise again is to be systematic. It is important that you have the right support at this time as grief can make you feel very overwhelmed. An important tip to bear in mind is that your memories will be of comfort to you.
Taking photos is a really good way of capturing the memories associated with the belongings that you are dealing with and might have trouble parting with.
What about products in the bathroom/make up bag? When should you chuck?
This can vary but I would recommend the following:-
- Foundation – if it is water based – up to 12 months or oil based 18 months
- Lipstick – some say up to 1-2 years and others say 4 years. I would however question why you haven’t used the lipstick if you still have it after 4 years, and which case bin it
- Mascara – now this is one item I would recommend that you do not keep for too long – less than 6 months. There are risks of eye infections with out of date, contaminated mascaras
With other bathroom products such as old dregs of shampoos and shower gels – make a concerted effort to finish off the dregs before treating yourself to a new shampoo or shower gel. For unwanted smellies I would suggest you donate to charity.
And for kitchen items?
Kitchens are where dreams are made and where aspirational clutter can gather as we aspire to every being that domestic goddess/god. Bread makers crammed into cupboards, food mixers gathering dust, cookery books that you keep and then can never find that recipe and end up looking up on line! Melon ball makers, frothy coffee whisks and salad rinsers… If you have not used any of these items in the last 2-3 years then the reality is that you will probably never use them. Don’t feel guilty and don’t beat yourself up about it. Be kind to yourself and be ruthless too. Don’t put pressure on yourself to use them. Your time is best spent doing the things you actually enjoy and are good at.
As for foods – identify the foods you know you are never going to eat and take them along to your nearest food bank. Designate a day a week for mopping up left overs and using the last of the dregs of rice and pasta. I know that in some households they use and eat everything in their cupboards during January before then replenishing.
Other useful tips
Never leave a room empty handed. As you leave pick something up – whether it is to recycle it, put it back in its rightful place or to chuck it. This is a really useful exercise and greatly minimising the need to “tidy up” as essentially you are tidying as you go along.
If I wanted to connect and/or work with you where would I find you?
My website – www.tapiocatidy.co.uk
Thanks for sharing some amazing insights into decluttering Jo. I cover decluttering in my Coaching Rocks Bootcamp as part of our first module as I think it’s really important that you set the right working environment before you begin. If decluttering has piqued your interest you might also want to read this post, Clear Your Head, and this post, Letting Go, that I wrote a while back.
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